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A Girl Named PJ

Is it a boy or girl?

October 8, 2013

20 weeks pregnant - maternity photo www.bunnyanddolly.com
Today we find out whether baby #2 is a boy or girl!

Truthfully, I’m feeling terribly anxious about our ultrasound appointment. My primary concern is the baby’s health. Are the brain, heart, and other vital organs developing properly? Are the limbs forming correctly?

At Levi’s anatomy ultrasound, JB thought he saw something abnormal up on the monitor, and his panic-stricken expression filled me with such fear that I nearly vomited. Thankfully, nothing was wrong with Levi’s development; JB just didn’t understand what he was seeing on the screen.

But there was no doubt in anybody’s mind that we were seeing male genitalia during that ultrasound appointment. The ultrasound technician didn’t even have to announce, “It’s a boy!” As soon as the image of his lower half appeared on the monitor, my heart felt heavy with disappointment: I was not having a girl.

While most expecting mothers won’t admit to wanting one sex over another, I believe that most of us have a secret gender preference. Why else would we repeatedly ask pregnant women whether they’re hoping for a boy or a girl? Because, deep down, we know what gender we’d want if we were having a baby.

Plus, we all have opinions on so many other things — Coke or Pepsi, cats or dogs, iPhone or Droid — how could we not have an opinion on one of the most important details of our lives?

I suffered with feelings of gender disappointment for a long time after my 20-week ultrasound with Levi. There were many tears over many weeks, and I battled painful jealously for months upon learning that friends were pregnant with girls.

Eventually, though, the sadness subsided. And now, of course, I have Levi — and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.

20 weeks pregnant #maternityphoto #babybump
I’ve purposefully been trying to not think about baby #2’s gender for the past 20 weeks, and I have no gut feeling whatsoever whether it’s a boy or girl. Yes, my pregnancy symptoms have been different this time around — for example, I had terrible acne when I was pregnant with Levi but am relatively clear-skinned now — but I know that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

Just for fun, I took some gender prediction tests online yesterday. According to one Chinese gender predictor, I’m having a boy! But then another revealed I’m having a girl! Hmm…

Wanna place a bet? Do you think I’m having a boy or a girl?

(And, if you’re willing to admit it, I’d love to know whether you also dealt with feelings of gender disappointment during your pregnancy.)

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10COMMENTS | Family

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Let’s Discuss

  1. Amanda G

    October 8, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    I desperately wanted a girl. More than anything! I would have loved my baby if she’d been a boy (obviously!) but I was SO looking forward to all things girl. And, oh my goodness, I got one girly girl of a daughter!

    Reply
  2. Julia

    October 8, 2013 at 5:01 pm

    I’m pregnant with my first (a boy!), and honestly had no preference for a boy or girl. I was hoping the 20 week scan would reveal a boy because I suspected I was having a boy from very early on and wanted to be right ; ) I have a feeling I’ll be hoping for a little girl as the next addition to our family, but I think it would be neat to be a “boy mom,” too.

    Reply
  3. sheri

    October 8, 2013 at 7:37 pm

    Loved this. I had MAJOR gender disappointment with my 2nd – a boy. Even though I had a girl I desperately wanted another girl. I think it is such a huge taboo to discuss this – as if there’s something wrong with a preference, as if it indicates how much we love (or don’t) our baby based on gender alone. I applaud you for being so “out there” and honest with this; thank you! xo

    Reply
  4. Julia

    October 8, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    Every May when I look at all the facebook pictures of girls’ dance recitals, I think of how bored my parents were at mine. They had to sit through 2 hours of other people’s kids dancing to see me bop around for 5 minutes. So needless to say, whenever I see those dance recital pictures, I thank heaven above that I dodged the recital bullet and had a sweet little boy!!!

    Reply
  5. Katie S

    October 8, 2013 at 10:44 pm

    I too applaud you for being so honest about your initial disappointment. I had the same feelings and was so ashamed to ever admit it except to my best friend. Foolishly I assumed I’d have a girl first – like my mom, gram, aunts and pretty much everyone before me. I couldn’t believe it was a boy. What in the world was I going to do with a boy? I couldn’t handle looking at all the girls things that take up 3/4 of the stores. And then he arrived and is the most amazing little guy. We have such a strong bond that I now can’t believe I ever had those feelings, but have come to accept that it wasnt wrong to have them. I was blessed to have a baby girl 18 months after my son. We too have a very special bond and closeness, but a different one than I have with him. There’s just something about a boy and his mama! Hope to add another one to the fam someday! xo congrats!

    Reply
  6. marienkafer

    October 11, 2013 at 3:19 pm

    I was ecstatic when I learned that #1 was a boy! I’m not really a girly-girl so I was happy to avoid the sparkles and pink and ruffles that I know would have been forced upon me by well-meaning family and friends. #2 is also a boy and I am thrilled that my first will be getting a brother. Once it settled in for awhile I did get pangs of “oh, no wedding dress shopping, no first dance dress, no getting manis together” all those silly, but important things. There will be plenty of other milestones though! And, hopefully, someday, mommy/son dances at their weddings. 🙂

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Thoughts on having a boy | Bunny and Dolly says:
    October 23, 2013 at 6:01 am

    […] the big gender reveal! However, it is related to the post I wrote the day of my ultrasound about dealing with gender disappointment when I was pregnant with […]

    Reply
  2. Gender reveal | Bunny and Dolly says:
    December 2, 2013 at 7:13 am

    […] seeing the baby’s boy parts on the ultrasound, I experienced such sudden and intense feelings of gender disappointment that I sobbed for the duration of the session and then throughout our appointment with my OB/GYN […]

    Reply
  3. 2013 Year in Review | Bunny and Dolly says:
    December 31, 2013 at 6:03 am

    […] Life (and the blog) began to pick up speed. I had my 20-week ultrasound and revealed my gender preference. I showcased the season’s best maternity jackets, pondered my own personal style, and shared […]

    Reply
  4. Nursery inspiration board for a second baby | Bunny and Dolly says:
    January 29, 2014 at 1:04 pm

    […] with the fact that we’re having another boy. I used to “joke” that one reason I was hoping for a girl was because the nursery was already painted pink, a color I chose before I was even pregnant. I […]

    Reply

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