Thanks to everyone who left a comment in response to yesterday’s post. It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only mom who experiences anxiety rather than pure joy each time my baby reaches a new developmental milestone.
But I have to say, I was surprised by your suggestions on how to not feel so terrible about my aforementioned anxiety! Many of you responded that the solution is to have more babies! I suppose that knowing I will likely get to “start over” with an itty bitty newborn makes watching Levi grow up a bit less difficult, but it can’t completely wipe out my conflicting emotions. He’s my first born!
So now you’ve got me thinking about how many siblings Levi might one day have. I grew up with one younger sister — that’s us above in 1983, I think. (Yes, I’m looking stylish in my Alabama t-shirt and Smurfs belt.) I’ve always wanted to have at least two kids, but sometimes I think I’d like three. If our next baby is a girl, we’ll probably stop right there, but if we have another boy…
Before you start getting any wild ideas, let me assure you that I’m not pregnant and am in no rush to have another baby! I can’t imagine being pregnant with baby #2 while caring for a baby less than one year old. Raising Levi has been physically and emotionally exhausting (in the best of ways, of course), and I don’t know how I’d be able to be as hands-on as I am if I were also pregnant. I think two to three years is a good age difference between children.
How many kids do you want? If you’re done having babies, do you wish you had more (or less!) kids?
PS: Here’s a piece I wrote for Lifetime Moms after Tori Spelling announced she was pregnant with baby #4 just months after having baby #3!
I can tell you that just 5 weeks after having Hunter, I am doubting having more kids. 🙂 It IS so tiring, more than I ever expected and right now, I don’t see the joy in being a mom. I am hoping that changes as he gets older and more independent.. Yeah, I am looking forward to his independence so I can enjoy him more to play with him and now having to feel like a slave and like all I do is his laundry, wash bottles and change him.
Then again, I am an only child so to me, it’s not so bad. My husband is one of 3 and he wants more…..
I can tell you, Adrienne, that you are not alone in how you feel. Many new moms, myself included, don’t feel unadulterated happiness right after their babies are born. It’s hard work–and we’re exhausted! Hang in there. It’ll get more fun, I promise!
I am perfectly happy, content and blessed to have my three boys. We thought we were done at 2, then oops here comes #3. My husband got, um, fixed so there won’t be any more oopses. But, sometimes I wish we would have had one more.
I once heard it’s easier to be an even-numbered family than an odd-numbered one! But I just can’t imagine having four kids; three is the highest I think I can go!
My husband and I have always said that we’d like to have two children. We’re expecting our first in November. It took 18 months to conceive #1 (w/ the help of fertility treatment), so we know that #2 may or may not happen w/n our timing. Ideally, I think a 2-3 year age difference would be nice.
A big congratulations to you! Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?
I always thought that I wanted at least 2 kids, but when my son was a newborn and things were challenging, to say the least, there was more than one occasion when my husband and I talked about that fact that we might need to be OK with just child, because we really weren’t sure we could do it again. But I am happy to report that those feelings quickly faded once we hit the 6 month mark, and we definitely want more – though not quite yet. I am enjoying this one for now!
That’s one reason why I want to wait at least another year before having baby #2–I want this time alone with Levi to really get to know him and enjoy him. Besides, taking care of one kiddo is stressful enough 😉
It seems like a much less scary idea to have another one now that I see W can actually be helpful 🙂 Really, it wasn’t until he was pretty steady on his feet and not putting EVERYthing in his mouth that I felt a little relaxed with him. We’re in the “let’s see how 2 goes” phase… because I kind of think the dynamic of 3 would be so fun!
That’s exactly it — the dynamic of three kids seems like it would be so much fun! I loved growing up with a sister, but I always thought that one more sibling would make it a non-stop party.
Chiming in with a similar response: always thought I wanted two, after the first one couldn’t imagine ever having another one, and now sort of wavering. Having a brother exactly two years younger shaped me as a person tremendously, and I’d like to give my daughter the same experience, but it’s hard to imagine having enough room in your heart when your love for your first child is so intense, isn’t it?
I absolutely love what you said: “…it’s hard to imagine having enough room in your heart when your love for your first child is so intense.” So true.
I always wanted one. Now that I have Ari, I feel pretty sure I still do, but I have moments where I think, “I’ll never have a ____ month old again!” and I get a little sad.
Thank you for sharing! I hope to have more children and experience all these milestones again, but I still get sad every time I take Levi’s monthly photos.
Just one! It’s been an amazing and challenging ten months, and I look forward to each day with my Lu (the nights, not so much!). I really try to embrace each new thing she does and each stage she moves through because I know I’ll never get to do that again with another baby. I guess it’s sort of bittersweet, but I feel like its the right thing for me to just have one.
Thank you for admitting that life with a 10 month old is not 24/7 fun! What are Lu’s night like?