As I mentioned yesterday, the primary reason I wasn’t able to attend Alt Summit NYC was logistics. However, I might have fought a little bit hard to make it work if there hadn’t been a second, more complicated, reason…
Reason #2: Who am I to be there? (No, really, who am I?)
My post on the business of blogging initiated a sort of blog identity crisis. As I try to identify my future goals, both professional and personal, I can’t stop questioning the purpose of this blog. Since I haven’t been able to come up with any definitive answers, I’ve just been plugging along as I did before I wrote that confessional, all the while feeling a bit unsettled.
I worried that if I were to attend Alt Summit NYC, I wouldn’t know how to promote this blog–or how to market myself. Bunny & Dolly began as a pregnancy blog, and after Levi was born, the topic naturally evolved from pregnancy to motherhood. So does that make me a “mommy blogger?”
I ask because I don’t think I want to be labeled as such. See, I’m more than just Levi’s mommy. I’m a 32-year-old woman with interests outside of parenthood. At least, I want there to be more to me than just Levi’s mom.
Like many women my age, I’m still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to be when I grow up. I’d love to write about my likes, dislikes and hobbies on the blog as I discover more about myself, but I don’t know if this is the forum for those types of posts. That would make Bunny & Dolly a mommy-slash-lifestyle blog, but I’ve been getting the feeling lately that you are all more interested in reading about Levi than about me. Which is totally OK. After all, he is a lot more interesting–and a lot more adorable!
But does that mean I should start yet another blog to avoid blurring the line between niches?
I know what you’re going to say. “PJ, you should only put in the time to blog if it makes you happy, and you should write about whatever you want.” (Am I close?) And my response is that blogging does make me happy. Writing is not only my creative outlet; it’s also a form of therapy for me. As you might have noticed, I have the tendency to over-think just about everything. I struggle with perfectionism. It boils down to this: Blogging is fun for me, but it can also be stressful because as much as I want it to feel easy breezy, I also want it to be perfect.
In short, the second reason I didn’t go to Alt Summit NYC was because I didn’t know how I would fit in among the fashion, foodie and lifestyle bloggers in attendance. But I’m not giving up on myself or on this blog just yet. You see, I bought a ticket to attend Alt Summit’s flagship event in Salt Lake City in January. Yes, I’m scared shitless to go, but I know I have a few months to get my act together and sort through this identity crisis.
I value each and every one of you and thank you again for all of your thoughtful, constructive feedback.
{bottom image via Alt Design Summit}
Hi, PJ!
So loving the candor and honesty of your post. Your feelings are totally valid and I can completely relate. I also have every confidence that you will sort it out. How do I know? I am also in the process of redefining myself.
I hope you get to the point soon where you feel less fear and begin to embrace that this could be the opportunity to create something even grander for yourself than you could have imagined. That’s where I am and I am loving every second.
I’ll be a first-timer at SLC so I look forward to meeting you then! One final thought. You started your post by asking “Who Am I to be There?” My question for you is “Who are You to NOT be There?” 🙂
“Life begins at the end of our comfort zone.”
I think a well-known quote, I just discovered this one randomly on a trip. I admire you for doing things that scare you. Maybe going to the next Summit will probably even help you discover things about you.
Hi! I was in the ALT class tonight and just want to say hello. I hope you enjoy your trip to Summit in January and I assure you that we all feel this sense of identity crisis at some point or another with our blogs. As a mom, I totally relate to being something more than just “my kids mom” and it’s one of the main reasons I started my blog. Blogging has revealed a lot of new passions and hobbies for me that I wouldn’t have found otherwise. There’s nothing I love more than my little boys but finding time for me is important too. Good Luck and have fun in January. Sounds like you’ll need a lot of business cards 🙂