This weekend Levi grabbed the lower shelf of our coffee table, bent one leg and put his foot flat on the floor. My heart starting to pound. Was he was about to pull himself up for the first time? I suddenly felt queasy. In denial of what I was possibly about to witness, I quickly repositioned my son on his bum.
“Levi, sit down!”
Wait, what? Aren’t moms supposed to encourage their children’s developmental milestones?
God, I’m a terrible mother.
Before I was dreading the day the Levi pulled himself up, I was dreading the day he learned how to crawl. Mommy friends had told me that everything changes once your baby is mobile, and I didn’t want everything to change just yet. Imagining Levi crawling led to thoughts of him walking and then running and then becoming a little boy, and I wasn’t ready for him to do all of those things. Two months later, I’m still not ready.
But if Levi wasn’t meeting his milestones at the appropriate times, I’d be very concerned. I want my son to be on a healthy developmental path. So, I’m conflicted in my emotions. Watching him transition from my little burrito baby to a big boy is so bittersweet. I still can’t believe that he’s almost 10 months old. Double digits! Time has passed so quickly yet it feels like forever ago that he was a tiny newborn. I’ve even been putting off planning his first birthday party because I’m feeling anxious about him growing up.
When I thought that Levi was on the verge of crawling, I began avoiding playing with him on the floor. Instead I would make up reasons why I should put him in his jumperoo or in his exersaucer. If he had to be on the ground, I tried to keep him in a sitting position while we interacted. Now I’m using the same tactics to keep him from pulling himself up into a standing position.
Why am I so afraid for my son to grow up? How do I get over this?
You keep having more! Haha. JUST KIDDING! I have mini panic attacks every time one of my kids goes through a major milestone. When my oldest lost his first tooth I took comfort in knowing I’d get to have two more firsts like this with my other boys. When I signed up my middle boy for preschool I knew I’d have one more at home with me. I’m going to be a wreck when my baby is out of diapers. No more babies. It’s hard to let them grow up, I’m not sure it will ever be easy for me to accept.
I think Jen is right. I think you should have another one. If you wait to long you will turn into me and not want to do it again once he hits two, which will be in just another blink of an eye. Its hard to believe that PD is almost 4 and in just a little over a year he will be starting kindergarten. Dont be afraid of the milestones. Embrace them and encourage them – because they are going to happen whether you let them or not. 🙂
You’re not crazy! I was really sad when H turned 1. I think a lot of moms feel that way. And, don’t think of it as growing up, think of him developing as new ways to play and interact with you. There is SO MUCH to do and play when they can move. It’s amazing. It really just gets better and better (while somethings get harder and harder). I amazed everyday watching our son grow and learn…that is what I find joy in and makes the fact that he is growing up a little easier to handle. And you can look at L and say, “I did that.” Encourage him and let him be able to look to you for encouragement to do all these things.
Thank you! I really like your advice “…let him be able to look to you for encouragement.” That’s something I will definitely remember.
I’m with the Jen and Stacy, have another, or two (just kidding), but it does work. The stages of tying shoes is so welcome when you’re changing a diaper in the other room.
These little changes will get you prepared for the big changes like kindergarten: bawled my eyes out on my first, shed a tear with my 2nd, sighed with tears in my eyes on my last.
I’ve made it through kindergarten, getting dressed by themselves, making their own breakfast, staying home by themselves, first dates, driving, and now my last one will graduating from high school next year. I’m already a mess.
Enjoy each stage, don’t wish it too fast, or too slow, just enjoy.
Enjoying each stage, living in the moment… it’s so hard for me, but I have to work on it.
If you discover how to get over it, please share! It is getting worse for me the older Wally gets. It started with his first hair cut, and magnifies when I see the little kid legs that have replaced his baby legs, or when he nearly jumps, or says a new word. I may be officially diagnosed with baby fever soon – my heart skips a beat when I see a smiley infant.
What I did learn, though, is that there’s nothing you’re doing that’s going to hold him back! My guy learned to stand in a Pack ‘n Play and to sit down with the help of nothing but a bare wall. No need to feel guilty for time flying too quickly!
How old was W when he had his first haircut? I already know it’s going to be hard to watch somebody cut Levi’s super crazy long curls. They are so strange looking behind his ears, but he’s always had them!
On a side note, where did he get the awesome bench? No wonder he wants to pull up!
We received the bench as a gift when Levi was born!