They say it takes a village to raise a child, so I’ve invited some fabulous bloggers to share their thoughts on motherhood. This week they’ll be discussing everything from pregnancy to newborns to baby gear for first-time moms. Renee Garner from Wolfie & The Sneak is an artist who blogs about indie design, art, food, motherhood and style. We met on Twitter, and when I learned she was pregnant with her second child, I was eager for her to share her perspective on Bunny & Dolly.
Change is hard for me, so a nine-month pregnancy is just what I need to get used to the idea of having a kid around. I guess we’re all that way, needing the transition in time, and for whatever reason, nine months is the magic number for humans. If it were any longer (elephants…2 years!?!) surely the birth rate would have bottomed out centuries ago.
This time around—my second pregnancy—is slightly different from the first in that I feel better prepared to bring a child into the world. I know firsthand what the sleepless nights are like, and I know the depth of my patience. I know the joys and excitement of each new day, each new skill and the satisfaction of answering each question asked, even when those questions are asked over and over and over again. I’ve lived through the mysteries that came with child #1. But child #1 is a girl, and we just found out that child #2 is a boy.
As you’ve probably deduced, I’m female. So when we found out the gender of #1, there was a quick and vast realization: All my “girl” experiences flashed through my mind—the understanding that the things I have been through will help me guide her. With the worry of bringing new life into the world came a calm; my personal experiences gave me comfort and strength in my ability to be her mother. It was all familiar territory.
It’s been 4 days since we found out #2 is a boy, and these 4 days I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I have little knowledge of what life will be like for a boy. First, I mourned that this experience wouldn’t allow me to re-live #1’s baby days, an ignorant daydream that subconsciously fueled the decision to have a #2. It didn’t take long to realize the extent of that ignorance, because #2, no matter the gender, will be a unique and amazing individual. After all that inner-transformation, growing and mama-maturing, came the third acceptance: This child will have a penis. The prospect was terrifying and unexpected, it was unfamiliar…it is change.
What do I know about raising a boy? All of that confidence I had in answering the mysteries of bringing a life into the world whooshed out the window with the prospect of needing to stock up on peepee teepees. Luckily, I have my partner Charlie to lean on. He’s excited to share his experiences as a guide for #2 (and for me) through this unfamiliar territory. He knows what boy-ness is like; in fact, that boyishness often peeks through his thirty-something face. It starts with a glint in his eye and spreads across in a broad and confident smile, melting my pregnant nervousness, allowing the excitement of a whole new learning experience to begin.
I really appreciate your honesty about raising a boy, Renee. I felt the same exact way when I learned I was going to be a boy’s mom instead of a girl’s mom, and I’m sure that many readers had similar experiences. Thanks so much for contributing!
PS: You don’t need peepee teepees. Your little guy will manage to pee all over you and his surroundings anyway!
This is such a nice post, and one that I can definitely relate to! I found out about a month ago that our first child is a boy – it took me a bit to adjust to the idea of raising a son and not a daughter. But we’re thrilled! Best of luck with this pregnancy!
I love having a boy- they are energetic for sure, but sweet and loving and adore their Mamas!
Funny tip from my Urologist husband: tap a little just above the pubic area and then wait a second before you remove the diaper. They do this before examining babies because it will likely make them pee if they have to. 🙂
Thanks for the comments, everyone. I’m growing more and more excited each day. It just took a little bit of time to digest the news, but ready for the new adventure. Ashley, that’s a great tip! Everyone I know has said the teepees look like a great idea but just get launched by the stream, so I won’t be stocking up on those…thankfully!
I second? third? the teepee comments. They are worthless.
My main advise on boys – point that penis down when putting on the diaper. Everything else, you are along for the ride as much as you are for your daughter. Having a boy is a lot of fun. I have heard that they are harder when they are younger and it gets easier as they get older. I am four years into the venture and I have to say that there isn’t nearly as much drama at school (who sits next to whom at snack time, who is playing with whom during play time, etc.) as I see with my friends who have girls. My son is crazy about trucks and trains and helicopters, but he also adores the Ivy and Bean books. He runs around like a crazy person all day but then begs me to stay longer at bedtime so he can get more kisses. He doesn’t give a lot of hugs, but when he does, they are huge tight hugs. He asks a million questions a day and I can only answer a fraction of them. My whole life I was sure I’d have a girl, but now I cannot imagine for a moment not having a boy.
Have fun!