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A Girl Named PJ

it’s official

November 10, 2010

The Monday after I took the home pregnancy test, I called my gynecologist’s office. I figured she’d want to see me right away to confirm that I was really pregnant. After all, the drugstore tests could be wrong, right?

That is not how it works.

My doctor did not want to see me until I was 8 weeks pregnant, which would be the week of Thanksgiving, and she was totally booked. The earliest she could see me was the Monday after the holiday.

I started crying on the phone with the scheduler. “This is my first one! I’m freaking out! What am I supposed to do?” I cried. Politely, she told me I could ask the nurses my questions, and I could see my general practitioner for another pregnancy test.

So I got on the phone with a nurse, who was not as patient as the girl at the front desk — and a bit condescending, if I may say so. When I asked her about what I should be eating, specifically about fish, she replied, “Well, uh, there’s mercury…” Basically, she was no help.

Thankfully, my G.P. was able to see me on Tuesday. I was surprised that they had me pee in a cup; I assumed it would be a blood test. As we waited for the results, I didn’t feel nervous. I knew they would be positive. And they were.

The doctor came in to chat with us, and she was as personable and reassuring as ever. JB and I had printed a list of questions from the internet, and she happily answered every one, even answering some we hadn’t thought to ask. When we walked out of the office, she congratulated us again.

Now that it was official, we stopped at Barnes & Noble to buy “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” Oddly, I was prepared to tell the cashier that the book was a gift for a friend if she asked me when I was due.

I wondered: Was denial was of the things to expect?

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1COMMENTS | Family

it’s positive

November 7, 2010

before taking the e.p.t.

a positive e.p.t. test

On November 5th, JB and I bought a home pregnancy test at Walgreens with a $5 off coupon.

We both knew what the result would be before I even peed on the e.p.t. stick.

Starting in the middle of October, I began waking up in the middle of the night with terrible anxiety, unable to go back to sleep. Once I even ran to the toilet, convinced I was going to throw up. My first thought was that I was having morning sickness… but in the middle of the night? I was also convinced that I could feel something going on down there, a cramping on my lower right side. And then there was the bloating and feeling fat.

But this was the first month we had tried to get pregnant. JB had only returned home from his deployment at the end of September. Didn’t it take at least three months to conceive?

Apparently not.

The test was positive.

The plus sign appeared almost instantaneously. No need to wait the full two minutes.

I was really, really, really pregnant.

JB got teary-eyed. He couldn’t stop smiling. I couldn’t stop saying, “I’m totally freaking out! I’m totally freaking out!” He was so happy, and I was so overwhelmed with emotions. Fear. Disbelief. Joy. I knew from that moment that everything was going to change. Was I ready?

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