If you’ve been wondering why posting has been sporadic these past couple of weeks, it’s because I’ve had a limited amount of free time to blog (or do anything else). I hadn’t mentioned it when he left, but JB deployed in the beginning of October, temporarily leaving me a single mom. With a full-time job. And a 3-month-old. And three weekends in a row of previously arranged travel.
This deployment came as a surprise to us. Whereas we usually have months to plan for his departure, this time JB was only given two weeks notice…and I think I was in denial from the time we found out until the day he left. Every day without him here to help with Levi, the dog and the house or to offer moral and emotional support was exhausting. My days were busy, and I had virtually no time for myself.
Here’s what my schedule looked like: Baby woke up to eat around 1-2am and 4-5am and started his day between 6-7am. The nanny watched Levi while I worked from 8am-5pm. After she left, I played with him, tried to get him to take a brief nap, fed him and bathed him. My goal was to put him to bed by 7:30-8pm. After he fell asleep, I made myself dinner (usually something that required very minimal effort in the kitchen) and curled up on the sofa around 8:30pm to zone out in front of the TV. By 9:30-10pm I was a zombie and would crawl into bed without even washing my face.
However, we received a second surprise a few weeks into the deployment when we learned that JB would be coming home early–a full month early!– and our little family was reunited last Wednesday night. As challenging and frustrating and tiring as it was for me to take care of Levi alone, I feel guilty complaining because so many military moms are without their husbands for much, much longer. I could barely make it four weeks on my own; it felt as though we had been separated for three times as long. I honestly don’t know how other milspouses act as a single parent for months or even a year at a time.
{photos of JB and Levi taken this past week}
I would like to say it gets easier but it doesnt. With each deployment comes new challenges. But you do get the hang of it. Just remember to ask for help when you need it. Parker and I are just a phone call away, and we are in the same boat.
My sister-in-law is raising two children while my brother has been deployed for most of the last five years. I have no idea how she does it either. I wouldn’t feel guilty about exhaustion. I admire you for handling it with grace!
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. (In fact, there’s a draft of a post on my desktop waiting for me to find a half hour to focus on it.) While other military moms do it, millions of others don’t! It’s hard, for sure. I found it was most helpful to take one day at a time and applaud small victories. And to say “YES” to the first day dad offers to stay home with the baby so you can get out on your own!
I’ve been meaning to comment on this post for weeks. I have the utmost respect for you and other military wives (including my mother-in-law and sister-in-law). I really don’t know how you do it. I’m so thankful that JB came home early! I hope your little family of three has the happiest of holidays.
Aww, thank you! Wish you, your husband and your lil’ peanut happy holidays, too!