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April 18, 2012

Nine Month Old Baby Boy Crawling

Today I start a new job! I am now a VPTWAHM. That’s a very part-time work at home mom. I recently realized that what I really want do is spend the majority of my time with Levi and only a couple of hours a day working… rather than the other way around. Thankfully, I work for an amazing company of mostly working moms who understood my desire to be full-time mommy and are letting me significantly cut back my hours to focus primarily on raising my son.

I went back to work part time after an incredibly short 6 week maternity leave and started full nine hour days just two weeks later. It was an extremely rough transition for me, but I was grateful to have a work-from-home job and was determined to make it the best of it. At the time, I thought I had the best of both worlds. I could take short breaks throughout the day to nurse Levi and was able to see his smiling face whenever I went downstairs to refill my coffee mug.

But hearing and watching him with his nanny, a loving girl who has become part of our family, also made me sad. I began to feel as though I was missing out on lots of Levi’s little moments. When I heard him laughing, I wondered what was so funny. When he cried, I wanted to know what upset him. Over time, I started to regret my decision to go back to work–and especially to go back to work when he was still a tiny baby.

I never thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom. My mother worked full time outside of the home, so growing up I just assumed that’s what mothers did–they juggled careers and parenting. I actually couldn’t understand why women would give up their jobs to raise kids. Before having  Levi, I guess I always connected a person’s profession with their identity, and I never thought I wanted to be “just a mom.” I truly thought I could do it all, but now I realize that it’s impossible to do it all…and maybe, just maybe, I don’t want to do it all anymore. We have limited hours in a day and have to pick our priorities. If I can spend time with Levi, put in 2-3 hours of blogging and copy writing while he’s napping, take a shower and run an errand or two, that will be my new version of a very successful day!

Nine Month Old Baby Boy Crawling 2

{photos taken on April 16, 2012}

 

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15COMMENTS | Life

« levi’s monthly photo (nine months old)
i survived my first day as a VPTWAHM »

Let’s Discuss

  1. Emily (The Culinary Couple)

    April 18, 2012 at 9:40 am

    Hooray! I’m a VPTWAHM, too. I work about 10 hours/week and get to spend the rest of my time with Sammy. It’s the best of both worlds, really!

    Reply
    • PJ

      April 19, 2012 at 6:48 am

      How old was Sammy when you started working again? I wish I had been able to do this earlier in his life, but I didn’t realize that being a mostly SAHM was what I wanted! I’m grateful I’m able to do it now.

      Reply
  2. Julia

    April 18, 2012 at 10:51 am

    That sounds wonderful! I have plans to go back part time when Baby is 9 months and I am so sad about it. My hubby does not support the whole stay at home mom thing, so part time is a compromise. I am very happy for you- Levi is a lucky guy!

    Reply
    • PJ

      April 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      Julia, so you’ve been home with the baby so far? If so, I’m jealous of you! I wish I could get those first 9 months back, but like you said, we all have to make compromises. I’m glad that you will be able to work part time and don’t have to be away from your little one all day.

      Reply
  3. Jenni

    April 18, 2012 at 11:05 am

    Congrats to you and Levi!!

    Reply
    • PJ

      April 19, 2012 at 6:46 am

      Yay! Thank you!

      Reply
  4. emily

    April 18, 2012 at 11:36 am

    i am so happy for you.

    Reply
    • PJ

      April 19, 2012 at 6:46 am

      Thanks!

      Reply
  5. Lynn

    April 18, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Congrats and welcome to a whole new world of wonder! I’m so glad your employer is flexible to allow this transition. I look forward to reading more about it here!

    Reply
    • PJ

      April 18, 2012 at 2:06 pm

      Thank you! Now let’s hope they stay flexible 😉

      Reply
  6. Mom

    April 18, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    I so applaud your decision to do what’s most comfortable for you as a new mom. It is hard to “juggle” it all, especially working 9 hours a day (even if it’s from your extra bedroom). How wonderful and understanding your employer is to keep you part time! You are an asset. You were too young to remember, but I was fortunate to be able to go back to work when you were 6 months old. I worked for our local Board of Education on the Child Study Team part time…15-20 hours a week for 6 1/2 years. I was able to enjoy being a School Social Worker and a mommy. I took you for swim lessons for 3 years into chorine water (not my favorite smell) twice a week until you were so advanced, you could go by yourself. We did all sort of cool stuff and routine clean up and shopping. Opportunity knocked and when a full time position opened up, I took it, but you were almost 7 and Rachel was almost 4. There is a wonderful sense of security and accomplishment being employed doing something you enjoy. You have always been an incredible writer and will always find something to satisfy those needs. Part time is a great way to “HAVE IT ALL!!” I am very proud of you. LU

    Reply
  7. courtney @ larking.

    April 19, 2012 at 11:11 am

    Hey, congrats! It’s weird how perspectives and priorities shift after having a baby. I’m so happy for you that you’ve found a balance that feels right — a little bit of working and a whole lot of baby sounds perfect to me, too! When I was making my decision about returning to work, my therapist told me that she has never heard someone say “I spent too much time with my kids when they were young.”

    Reply
  8. emily/thesearethedays

    April 19, 2012 at 3:44 pm

    Congratulations! What a joy. I’m curious; do you have any words of wisdom for those of us looking to be a WAHM?

    Reply
  9. Ashley

    April 19, 2012 at 9:50 pm

    Congratulations on the transition! I’ve heard that mothers with a part-time/flexible work schedule are happiest!

    Reply
    • PJ

      April 19, 2012 at 10:06 pm

      Thanks! I’ve heard that, too 😉

      Reply

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