“What is a weekend?”
This month’s desktop wallpaper designed by Mariah from Oh, What Love Studios was inspired by a line from the Dowager Countess on “Downton Abbey.” When Maggie Smith’s character uttered those brilliant words, her question immediately resonated with me. What is a weekend? Is it a time to slow down from the hectic nature of the work-week or an opportunity to cross off as many items as possible from your to-do list?
JB and I have always been expert dawdlers, and when it was just the two of us, we gave ourselves permission to move at a turtle’s pace on Saturdays and Sundays. It wasn’t uncommon for us to still be in our pajamas midday (or later!) if we didn’t have anything on the calendar. Why get dressed if you have no place to go?
Plus, weekends were our chance to recover from the demands of the previous five days. Like most working adults, Saturday could never come quickly enough.
Then Levi was born, and as any new parent can attest, it’s hard to relax when there’s a baby in the house — no matter the day of the week. Infants on three-hour sleep/feed/play schedules leave little time for their parents (especially breastfeeding moms) to take a breather, and toddlers require near-constant supervision. If you’re lucky, your one-and-a-half year old will nap for two hours or longer, but then you have to choose between putting up your feet or being productive.
Before Levi began attending Montessori for three hours each morning, when we were on the same schedule seven days a week, I frequently lost track of time. Mondays felt like Thursdays, and Thursdays felt like Sundays. The only way to differentiate between days was by what was on primetime TV.
Now there is a clearer distinction between the work week and weekends: Levi is home all day. And I know this sounds awful, but I don’t look forward to Saturdays and Sundays in the same way I became a mom. They are no longer days dedicated to relaxation and slowing down; if anything, they are crazier than weekdays because I don’t have mornings to myself like I do when he is at Montessori.
In addition, lounging around the house in our pajamas until lunchtime is now a source of stress instead of enjoyment. I feel guilty if I’m not providing Levi with structured activities all day long, like engaging him during playtime or getting him out of the house for fresh air and early morning errands. (Too bad we’re not morning people!) What I’d really like to do, however, plop him in front of the TV for an hour (or longer…) while I sprawl on the couch to read a book or magazine.
Gone are the days of lazy weekends…
How have your weekends changed now that you are a parent? Is it OK to be lazy every once in a while? Do you allow your child to watch a little bit more TV than usual or to wear his pajamas all day long on the weekend? Where do you draw the line between relaxation and dawdling?
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PS: A Downton Abbey-inspired tote bag!
PPS: If you like what you see, please leave a comment below!
I look forward to weekends now because it means my husband is off and can help me! and we all spend time together. The week is crazy hectic for us so we just try to slow down and work on a couple projects on weekends. I like to spend a few mins each weekend morning snuggling in bed as a family. We try not to overplan and just enjoy the time.
I definitely appreciate my husband’s help on the weekend, that’s for sure! So you don’t feel guilty if you spend a good chunk of the day being lazy and/or staying in your pajamas?
some days but most days I try not to. honestly, I spend a lot of time in pajamas! even weekdays I am lucky if I get dressed before noon. a lot of that has to do with my kid being unable to solo play at all. so getting dressed and ready can take forever! we don’t have a schedule really though – so we just go with the flow and day by day is different. thinking about starting a 2 day week preschool so it may change some. does Levi love his preschool? we decide on Friday if Ev starts in the fall.
I can so relate to this with Noah – my 2 older kids could hang out at home easily all day. With Noah, it becomes stressful, with requests for TV inevitable. We need to plan weekend days strategically, to get out of the house for hours both days. It’s tiring and challenging to find great stuff to do every week but he is a joy to take places and loves to do things so it’s actually easier than staying at home. And I remind myself that he too will be a teenager/young adult soon enough – sleeping till the afternoon and slipping out to be with friends! xo
I think it depends upon your personality and your child’s as well. When the girl was small, weekends WERE a lot tougher than during the week. She’s an extroverted, active girl who is always looking for “what are we going to do now?” Even as a baby, she wasn’t the kid sitting quietly in the “bucket” carseat at the coffee shop.
Like Sheri, we plan our weekends and make sure we have some active each day.
Her personality is one of “yes” – she’s up for anything whether it’s playing a game or travelling or going out or biking. Whatever it is, she’s game to try. And that’s a pleasure. I do have friends whose child’s natural inclination is “no” and they have to be convinced to try something. That would have its own challenges.
Right now at 7 she loves to spend time with us and I do savour these years – they will be gone soon enough!