Today is Levi’s 19-month birthday, but I’m afraid he’s already exhibiting signs of the Terrible Twos: moodiness, temper tantrums, and persistent use of the word “no.”
He’s only recently added “no” to his vocabulary but has been using it with abandon for the past several days. When he doesn’t want to do what we’ve asked, he shakes his head, stomps his feet, and yells, “No, no, no, no, no!”
This weekend was especially challenging. Levi fussed and cried when it was time to put on his jacket, sit in his highchair, and go to bed. I actually can’t remember the last time he was so hysterical at bedtime — perhaps when we were sleep training? Standing up in his crib Sunday night, he screamed and wailed at the top of his lungs in such a panicked state that JB was convinced Levi must have been afraid of something in his room.
As Levi’s going-to-bed behavior seemed so out of the ordinary, I could only let him cry for about 10 minutes before I felt the need to console him. Instantly relieved when I walked into his room, Levi put himself to sleep while I sat on a stool beside his crib. Eventually I snuck out, but not before worrying that I had just started a bad precedent for dealing with crying at bedtime.
Has Levi officially entered the Terrible Twos? Or is this a just a phase possibly related to starting nursery school?
If you’ve experienced similar behavior and can share any words of wisdom, please leave a comment below!
{art by Kyle Pellet}
Ah yes, the terrible twos! I have a 19 month old as well, but she is my third. She too has fallen in love with the “no” word and uses it with abandon. I have no advice in regards to your son crying at bedtime because I am seriously the worst when it comes to sleep training. My baby still wakes up 2-4 times a night and we cater to her because she shares a room with her brother and we don’t him to wake up. But I DO have advice for when he throws a temper tantrum. Ignore it. Seriously. If he throws himself on the ground and kicks and screams, even in public, IGNORE IT. I did this with both of my sons (now 8 and 10) and it nipped them in the bud.
I remember one time I was walking to the park and my now 10 year old had a fit. I just sat a foot or two away from him and started reading the book I was carrying. You should have seen the looks I was getting from people passing by, but I didn’t care because I knew I was doing the right thing. Sure enough he never threw a fit in public again. Good luck!
Thanks doll,
The Glamorous Housewife
Thanks for the advice on temper tantrums. As for Levi’s sleeping issue, he fell asleep without incident the past two nights, so perhaps Sunday night was just a fluke (fingers crossed).
Sophie is just about 17-months old and is doing an excellent job of acting like a child in her terrible two’s!! Along with “no,” her other favorite words include “don’t” and (my personal favorite :)) “mine.” Quite a challenge and always an adventure with my little ladybug :). Good luck!!
Oh dear! I’m dreading “mine” but have a feeling it will happen sooner rather than later now that Levi’s in nursery school.
Overall, two wasn’t really bad….as I am approaching three with my little one. I am dreading 3….already (with all of the new words he has he can say a lot more than “NO!”). T started saying “no” before two and getting a bit more difficult. If a temper tantrum is happening – always ignore. Let them “get it all out!” Just make sure they aren’t hurting themselves or someone else. Talk about it after. With the word “no” and refusing to do things – offer an explanation. If you put your coat on now, we can go outside. If you don’t, we will not be able to go out. Go to sleep now – so we can do ____ tomorrow. If you don’t, we won’t be able to. I found that giving a reason for things helped my son understand the “why” – they get interested in “why” then. I read a book called – Happiest Toddler on the Block – and it had a lot of great ideas. GOOD LUCK!
Thanks, Ashley — and good luck with 3! I read Happiest Baby on the Block; maybe it’s time to start reading some toddler books. Next time he has a temper tantrum, I’ll try to just ignore it. Trying to explain the “why” when Levi’s screaming “no!” might be harder since I’m not sure it’s possible to reason with a 19 month old!
Charlotte is about to turn three, and her terrible twos have come in waves since she was about 18 months. We will have one bad month followed by three really good months. So, don’t worry-it will get better!
Phew! Thanks, Rebecca!
Welcome to the terrible twos. We are there also with Kara at 20 months. My girl friend asked her pediatrician when we all had our firsts if it starting early means that it ends earlier. His words “if that helps you get through today” but it is a sign of intelligence so go with that PJ and I truly believe in “sweating the small stuff” so there is less big stuff u have to deal with
Is an early onset of the Terrible Twos really a sign of intelligence? Ok, I’ll go with that! I understand he’s just at that age, so I try not to sweat it, but when I’m fighting him to sit in his highchair to eat or put on his jacket to go out, I just get so frustrated. Ugh!
Ok, I wanted to make sure to respond! I agree fully with the first responder… try to ignore them. It really does work. It’s super hard (sometimes I find it hard not to laugh, especially when it’s over something that seems so tiny), but it does make the temper tantrum end much sooner! Also, be thankful Levi waited this long to start! Gavin, who is so smiley and laughing and happy, has a STUBBORN streak (excuse me, my strengths-focused training tells me to re-word that to Independent), that rivals any member of our family (or is maybe the result of soooooo many of us being so “independent”. Our “fits” started around 10 months! The drop to the ground ones probably started around 1 yr. Be SO thankful you had until 19 months!
(I also made sure to get onto a computer to respond, we really are reading, even if we forget to comment!) 🙂
Thanks for getting on a computer to comment — I really appreciate it! (My Facebook question was not about this post specifically. Just wondering what encourages reader engagement in general.)
Tell me more about this “strengths-focused training” you mentioned. I could use a program like that. Maybe if I tried to view Levi’s tantrums as funny rather than frustrating I would get so…frustrated by them!
I’m not full of helpful answers – the 2’s were a bit terrible but in spurts (like it would get really bad and then he would be an angel). So far, 3 has been much worse…and I’ve heard from others it’s harder than 2 which makes me even more nervous for the coming year. I suppose the one thing about toddlers is that there is never consistency for very long – something will go on for a few weeks…then stop…then it will be something else! Sky still doesn’t sleep through the night most nights. : Some days, he has 10 tantrums…other days none. It’s like being on a roller coaster!
Yes, it’s definitely like being on a roller coaster! Why do toddlers have to be so unpredictable? (Although that’s partly what makes them so stinking cute, right?)
Everett is already hitting the “terrible two’s” phase and it is kind of dreadful. lots of throwing on the ground, dramatics, screaming, hitting and saying no. getting really mad when we do something he doesn’t want to. I’ve been told and found that ignoring it, as mentioned above, makes it go away the quickest. Although it is not easy and we lose our temper sometimes. I have to remind myself a lot to just take it in stride and pretend like he is acting totally normal. or be silly and redirect, which seems to work too. hang in there!
It doesn’t make the tantrums 100% less frustrating, but it does make it easier to deal with them knowing that they are SO common among toddlers Levi’s age. I’ll have to try being silly as a way to redirect him next time he’s throwing himself on the floor.