My mother-in-law flew into Omaha last night to spend a couple of days with us. My friends are throwing me a small baby shower on Sunday, and I’m happy she will be able to attend!
Over dinner, the three of us chatted about what needs to get done before/after the baby arrives. JB and I expressed our concerned over having a houseful of family members expecting to be entertained during our first couple of days as parents. I’m sure there will be several times during the day when my husband and I will want to retreat into our bedroom for some peace and quiet. So what will they all do then? They can only coo over the newborn for so long!
I love this post about the different ways family and friends can support new parents after the birth, especially if mom and dad are too shy to ask for specific help. It includes everything from running errands to cooking dinner to emptying the garbage.
1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.
2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____).
3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.
4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.
5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.
6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”
7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.
8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.
9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other r & r that will delight him. Fold more laundry.
10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.
What did you find most helpful after having a baby? If you’re expecting your first, what kind of support would you like to receive from friends and family member?
{via Shelterrific}
First, I discovered that there was no limit to the amount of time that my mother in law could hold and coo at the baby. Thankfully, that translated to opportunities for a hot shower and a good bit of uninterrupted sleep, as she would sooth him the best she could until it was time for him to eat again.
I would suggest that you designate a family member whose guidance you trust (perhaps your husband or your mom) who will be proactive in helping find the outside support you need, such as a lactation consultant (which you can use for free through the Visiting Nurse Association, thanks to a contract set up with the new parent support group on base). Perhaps this person could call right away after the baby’s born to save you from having to make the decision to make the call yourself?
Other than that, cooking, cleaning, answering the door and staying out of the way are key. I did find that I enjoyed doing the baby’s laundry, mostly because it wasn’t so much of a hassle with our laundry room on the same floor as our bedroom.
Whatever amount of help you have, you’ll do a great job as a new mom! And it all gets easier so quickly 🙂
I would love to help organize some meals for you… I have a super organized system for it… Let’s talk! Also I loved this list!
If you have people who will bring over cooked meals, that would be amazing. We had no idea that we’d be so exhausted. We were very protective of our privacy those first weeks and told our parents that they could come for the birth, but basically had to leave a day or two after (we said it nicely, I promise). No one was allowed to stay at our house! I’m so happy we did it that way.