Last week I sat in the nursery glider and I cried. It was early in the morning, and I was crying because I was exhausted. I was exhausted because my baby did not sleep through the night. While I sobbed, JB attempted to entertain Levi in the living room because baby guy refused to go back to sleep after a random 5am feeding. And by refused, I mean that he cried, and when Levi cries, he screams as though he is being tortured. My kid’s got lungs.
The nights that Levi sleeps poorly are probably caused by a lack of daytime naps. Like this past Sunday, for example. We just couldn’t get Levi to sleep during the day. He was basically awake from 9am-2pm, so we eventually stuck him in his car seat and started driving until he conked out. That night he woke up every three hours to be fed. Every. Three. Hours.
I feel like Levi’s poor sleeping habits are my fault. The routines I’ve tried just don’t work consistently. The eat/play/sleep schedule we try to follow often turns into eat/sleep/play. (Or eat/play/eat with no sleep in between.) Maybe I should have begun sleep training him sooner. Maybe I should have put him on a rigid by-the-clock schedule. Maybe I should have already tried to ferberize my baby.
New moms are judged by how long their baby sleeps at night. After wanting to know his age, it’s the first thing that most family, friends and strangers ask. At a party hosted by mother-in-law over Thanksgiving weekend, people who had never met Levi we’re more interested in how many hours he sleeps at night than whether he’s a happy baby or anything else about him. (He is actually a very happy baby…when he isn’t tired and cranky.)
Since I can’t get Levi to sleep well day or night, I feel like a failure. I know I’ve written on the topic of sleep before, but it’s been a constant thorn in my confidence as a new mom. So I’m re-reading “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby” hoping the second time around will teach me something I didn’t previously learn.
I’m just so tired of being tired. And I’m sure Levi is, too.
{iPhone photo taken when Levi was 9 weeks old}
Hopefully Levi is finally reaching a stage where his sleep will become more consistent! As I recall, HSHHC will tell you that a baby won’t really get onto a schedule until sometime after 5 months. So… from what I can tell, you’re doing great!!
And from personal experience… everything feels worse than it is when you’re really, really (really) tired. It annoyed me to no end when people would tell me that things would change/get better some day/blah blah blah, but I’m here to say that it’s true 🙂 (PS, I’m thinking of a very specific experience witnessed by Jamison when W was, oh, 22 weeks old or so.)
Keep hanging in there!
now i need to talk to jamison about this very specific experience you mention… i’m intrigued!
oh my, we’ve been going through the same thing over here! turns out Owen needed soy formula (at least, i’m hopeful that it will work long-term!), but he still gets up several times a night to eat. always has, just went from 3oz to 6oz every 3-4 hours. it’s exhausting!
don’t have advice, just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone!
sometimes knowing that i’m not alone is better than any advice i could get. thanks! levi has been eating 6oz every 3-4 hours for at least a month. we are starting to introduce cereal into his diet, so hopefully that helps him sleep a little bit longer at night. but his refusal to nap is so frustrating!
Hi there– i have to delurk to offer up my two cents– You need to give Moms On Call a try. Their program has worked fantastically for us and our now 4 1/2 month old son. I can’t sing praises of their program loud enough! http://www.momsoncall.com P.S. Levi is so cute!
hi miranda–and welcome! i will have to check out “moms on call.” thanks for the suggestion!
Sorry to hear you’re such a tired momma! Perhaps Levi is going through a growth spurt? I hope he gets back on track soon!
thanks, emily! he could be growing…or he could be the type of baby who doesn’t want to sleep because he wants to always be where the action is! are you getting any sleep?
I hear you!!! My guy turns 5 mos today… too bad we’re still on the every 3hr wake at night routine. We’ve had some great nights in the past (funny how 6hrs straight of sleep now seems awesome), but seem to be hitting a rough patch. I read the ‘Sleep Lady’ book recently and am trying to start implementing her ideas. One step at a time. Wish I had some stellar advice for you, but I think all I have to offer is that you are definitely not alone!!
Knowing I’m not alone is just as comforting as any advice you could offer! What’s with these 5-month-olds?? You are so right about 6 hours of sleep seeming awesome!
I accidentally came across your blog and I recognize your entire story! My baby turns 1,5 tomorrow and started sleeping through the night at age one. Before that she woke every three hours to breastfeed. What really helped me to improve naps were buying a mei tai! She loved taking naps in the mei tai (see heavenlyhold.com for options).
A happy accident, I hope! Welcome, Martine!