Hold your congratulations. This is not the big gender reveal! However, it is related to the post I wrote the day of my ultrasound about dealing with gender disappointment when I was pregnant with Levi.
While promoting the post on Twitter that afternoon, I shared my assumption that most women (myself included) secretly wish for girls — or at least the ones who have a gender preference. To my surprise, several of my female followers replied that they had hoped/were hoping for boys!
One of the bloggers who responded to my tweet offered to expatiate on her reasons for wanting a boy–or two. (Per her request, I’m keeping her identity anonymous.) I have to say, she gave me a lot to think about; there’s definitely truth in her assessment of girls.
I’m not pregnant and I don’t have plans to become pregnant in the near future. But someday, if I’m so lucky, I would love to have a boy.
Now, I must mention that I come from a family of three girls. I had a wonderful childhood climbing trees, riding my bike, playing softball, swimming, and briefly, playing with Barbies. I am neither a tomboy (not athletic enough) nor a girly girl (I have no idea how to do hair). I float in some space between the two. I am the middle sister and the least girly of the three of us. I love my sisters. I love my family. I’m glad it is the way it is.
But still, my (not so) secret wish is to have a boy some day. Preferably two.
Part of this stems from my childhood and part of it comes from my experiences as a teacher. I have been teaching for nearly a decade now. I have been around a lot of wonderful kids. I love being a teacher. I could go on and on about how much I love teaching and why, but that’s another post…
Anyway, with only a handful of exceptions, my favorite students have all been boys. I know teachers aren’t supposed to have favorites, but we often do. These are simply students with whom we connect with on a deeper level. I wouldn’t say that I treated them differently from my other students (I hope not!), I simply enjoyed being around them more. I love the energy boys often have. I love their naughty streaks (which I view as a sign of brilliance).
Having said of that, I have very limited experience with teenage boys. And so, if I really think about this, if I have two boys, it means that some day I will have two teenage boys. I’m not sure how I would handle that. But they say ignorance is bliss, and I’ll cross that bridge if I ever come to it….
Also, girls can be complicated. They can be complicated to teach. They can complicated to parent. (Sorry, Mom!) They often have complicated relationships with others girls. And this starts early. Scary early. Like when they are three. And then it gets worse. This worries me. And part of me wonders if it might be easier to raise sons than daughters? I’m not sure, but I think this plays into my wish to have boys, too.
On a funny side, but related note: I asked my husband this question tonight at dinner and he also said he wanted two boys! And maybe a girl after that, too. But I think we should start with one and see how it goes…
I’d love to know your thoughts on having a boy. Do you secretly hope for one? Or are your fingers crossed for a girl? Let’s get honest here!
(image via J.Crew)
🙂 This made me smile. I have secretly wished for a boy, too, when I was pregnant (and had to wait as we decided to not know the gender before bub’s birthday). I had to remind myself constantly that it wouldn’t make a difference if baby’s a boy or a girl but deep inside, I really really REALLY wanted it to be a boy.
Like the blogger you quoted, I have always found it easier to deal with males. This has been despite growing up with two younger sisters and regardless of my male friends’ gender preference. Also, being the Daddy’s Girl might have played into my secret wish, too, because I want my dad to have a grandson since he’s been around females in our family for the longest time – he has four sisters!
And to be honest, although I love my mom to bits and pieces, it was very hard for me to connect with her when I was growing up. It felt like I was forever locking horns with her and that I was so misunderstood blah blah blah teenage angst, and that scared/turned me off from wanting to raise a girl perhaps? Or maybe I was just scared to have a daughter like me ha ha.
That said, and having a boy as my eldest, I am asking The Universe for a girl next (maybe in a few years). Because I’m starting to believe that baby photos of her in cute little dresses will make all the angsty/emotional/hormonal teenage-girl years worth it.
I hope you’re keeping well, PJ. <3 Love and light to you and your family always. Looking forward to the gender reveal!
I was the quiet one of two sisters, preferring to read, color and play Barbie’s by myself to most anything. So the thought of having a boy terrified me. My first is definitely ALL bug-squishing, dirt-throwing, couch-jumping boy, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything. I was actually relieved to discover that the baby would be another boy. When I really thought about it, I would much prefer to make up stories about train crashes than have a princess tea party (not that I would force those upon a daughter, but I’ve been so surprised to see how boys are inclined to pick up traditional “boy” things that I don’t doubt a girl would do the same). Each new skill that the baby guy learns has me more and more excited to raise brothers.
To be perfectly honest… people now ask me if we’re going to have a third to try to have a girl and “NO!” comes out without a moment’s hesitation. Some of that “no” is exhaustion of solo-parenting through a deployment. The rest is that I’ve grown to love being a mom to boys.
The suspense is killing me! Both times I’ve been pregnant, I secretly wished for a girl….and then when it was a boy I had a few moments of disappointment but it didn’t last for long. Only after I had Ben did I realize that I really only wanted a girl for the DECORATING aspect. I was so into bedding and the nursery…and girly patterns…and not getting to use any of that stuff was the bummer. It wasn’t that I really wanted a girl “person”….haha, is that weird…? I am SO THANKFUL I have 2 boys. I get them….and hope they will be the best of friends. They will always have each other to take care of and I am happy I don’t have to deal with girl “drama” (or so I’ve heard from the few friends I have that have girls…?) Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still bitter that there are always way more cute girl clothes than boy clothes!!!!!!