This is a long-winded post about my relationship with blogging and my feelings of jealousy, frustration, competition and confusion associated with it.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the business of blogging, or blogging as a means to make money and not just as a creative outlet or hobby.
I constantly question why I devote so much time and energy into this blog. Two nights ago, I worked on Levi’s second 1st birthday party post for nearly two and a half hours, choosing and editing photos and writing and formatting the copy. The results? The post received two comments and two “likes” on Facebook. To say I was disheartened would be an understatement. In all honesty, I was hoping for more of a reaction from my readers.
But who is even reading Bunny & Dolly? And why are they reading it? What is it that I really have to say?
I assume that most of my readers are family members or real-life friends who want to know what’s happening with Levi. While Bunny & Dolly started as a pregnancy journal and evolved into a diary of my experiences as a new mom, it has also been a way for me keep friends and family in the loop. I’m terrible at calling, and mass emails aren’t really my style, but I still want to share photos and anecdotes with the people who live far away.
As a bonus, Bunny & Dolly has introduced me to a network of other first-time moms like Courtney, Emily and Ashley. The connections and, dare I say, friendships I’ve made through blogging have been invaluable to me. That said, I would love to turn my passion for blogging and writing into a profession. I would love to be paid for the time and energy I put into this blog or other online endeavors. I’ve been exploring ways to monetize Bunny & Dolly; you might have noticed the addition of sidebar ads and the occasional affiliate link. Still, I struggle to figure out how to get paid to do what I love most–and what I think I’m pretty good at doing. If you must know, affiliate advertising made me a whopping 32 cents last month.
I have daydreams about becoming a “mega blogger” like Emily, Camille, Liz, Liz’s sister-in-law Jordan, Nicole and Joy. Or like Ez, Victoria and Joanna. But, for the most part, they are all creative-types who write about fun things like creating runway looks for less, setting the perfect holiday table and hipster house tours. They are–or have become–lifestyle experts and get paid to share their knowledge via sponsorships, book deals and collaborations.
But me? I’m not an expert on anything, and I struggle all day long trying to figure out what I have to offer that would set me apart from other “mommy” or lifestyle blogs. I don’t cook or have recipes to share. D.I.Y. isn’t my style. I enjoy fashion, but I’m not a trendsetter. I appreciate a well-furnished home but don’t have a decorator’s eye. I like music, TV and movies, photography and travel but don’t know enough on any of those topics to write authoritatively on them. I don’t possess any sort of graphic design skills or the ability to create lust-worthy inspiration boards, and with a one-year-old at home, I certainly don’t have time to source products for frequent “my favorite things” posts.
So what do I know about? I know about being average and about living an imperfect life. But aren’t most of us living perfectly imperfect and average lives? What makes mine any more interesting and worth reading about?
Yet, I alternate between feeling discouraged and feeling motivated. I read blogs and take e-courses about how to become a successful blogger when I’m going through an optimistic phase, but mostly I think blogging success has less to do with strategy and more to do with luck. Luck and who you know, of course.
I recently learned that a very popular design blogger is publishing a handbook on blogging this fall. This book promises expert advice on creating and growing a blog for passion and profit.You know what I think? I think that this particular blogger, and most other bloggers out there, became successful because she was lucky. She was in the right place at the right time. I don’t believe that when she first started out, she had a formula or a plan for success. But now she is running a business based around being a blogger.
If I sound a little bitter, it’s because I am. In truth, I want her success and the successes of other big bloggers. I want to be something. I want to be somebody. I know I can be more than what and who I am right now, but I don’t know what I’m meant to do or who I’m meant to be. And I certainly don’t feel lucky.
Maybe I need to step away from the blog for a little while as I try to get my priorities straight. Yeah, right. Underneath it all, I consider myself a writer, and writers need to write. Writers also need readers, and although they may be reluctant to admit it, they need to know that they are being heard. Otherwise, they’d log their thoughts in an old-fashioned paper journal. So perhaps instead it’s time for me to start brainstorming Plan B because I’m afraid that Plan A has run its course.
PS: Sarah from Notes to Self wrote a thoughtful post yesterday also on the topic of the business of blogging. I encourage you to read it.
PPS: I probably should have mentioned that I’ve been blogging since 2007, so I’ve been trying to make a career out of this for a long time. I even started before some “professional bloggers” launched their blogs! You can see my original blog here.
I have looooooots to say on this subject. Too much for a response here — so maybe an email in the future. But if blogging is becoming a chore rather than something you look forward to, I think that’s a pretty bad sign. And I hope that’s not the case for you, though I can DEFINITELY relate to that feeling too.
I just felt like sharing that I think a lot of people read your blogs. Honestly, I love to read it for your witting comments and insight. I am not a mother, and I know that some day I would like to be. What drew me in was your sense of humor and the real insight of parenting. I think this is a blog for REAL moms to feel not so alone. I learned a lot about what it’s like to be a mom from this site. And I would hope that you keep sharing for others to find and learn and nod and smile and say “oh man, parenting is like that! I can totally relate.” I just felt compelled to share that and tell you that we are reading.
Hi! I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE reading your blog. I have a little girl Charlotte that’s only a few weeks younger than your Levi. I have to say that among the literally hundreds of blogs in my Google Reader yours is always one of the ones I check 1st. I’ve loved following your journey since I’ve gone through many of the same things. I love your style and the fact that you get right to the point – I don’t have time to read long posts :). I’m sorry I’ve never commented before but wanted you to know that I do really love what you are doing. And yes, I think we all want and deserve to be someone special – couldn’t agree more!
While I fall into the category of knowing you personally, we can both certainly admit that I hardly know you. 🙂 (Though you do have the honor of being “the wedding I crashed” when Mike and I started dating!)
And yet when I started reading your blog, I was so interested and enjoyed it so much that I read the entire thing from the very beginning. Whether or not people are finding it fast enough, you have a great voice that people want to hear. The fact that you are imperfect, in my opinion, IS your POV. I don’t even have a kid, yet I was so interested to hear your honesty about what it was like being pregnant and becoming a mom. When I’m up to that point in my life, I’m sure I’ll come back here to check to answer the age-old question “Is it normal to be feeling this way?”
As a blogger who has only found a very, very minor amount of “success,” I completely agree with you on luck. Some VIP needs to read it who publicizes it in some way so you get your readership up. And that comes down to luck. I haven’t hit that magic moment either, but I had a similar fear when I was writing that no one was reading because no one was commenting. I eventually made a decision to stop judging my success on the people that comment and to just keep plucking away, writing for me and the people that matter to me. It’s so motivating to get comments, but it doesn’t measure your success. I read your 1-year birthday posts and enjoyed them, but I really didn’t have anything to add to the conversation. That doesn’t mean they weren’t great posts.
I encourage you to keep at it! If you aren’t finding any enjoyment out of it anymore, then that is a different thing. But it seems you do enjoy writing this, so why not keep at it and hope your luck comes in too?
Just my 2 cents (ok… maybe that was 3)
~Sara
Oh! One tip: I read your blog in an RSS Reader and the entire blog is shown there. If you can set your RSS feed to only show snippets, it will allow people to see when new posts are up but they will need to click through to your blog to read the full thing. It will increase your page views and, therefore, you ad dollars if you have anything on a CPM basis. 😉
Sorry to dissent, but I absolutely detest clicking out of Reader. I’ll do it, but I hate it with a fiery passion.
PJ, if you are questioning your voice/niche/place, please know that it is enormously reassuring/validating to know that someone else feels like motherhood is not always 100% sunshine and snuggles. It’s amazing and I love it, but it’s hard to find authentic voices in the mom crowd.
ah! it’s as if you’ve read my mind! 😉 i pour hours into my blog…posting posts only to check my email 9,000 times in one day, hoping, hoping that someone (anyone) has left a comment! a comment letting me know that it’s not just my mom and MIL who are reading the posts to get their grandbaby fix. i wish i had a solution for you, but i think it boils down to a few things, a) do you love blogging? not for others but for you? b) do you need to make money? or do you just want to make money?…answer those questions and you might feel a bitty-bit closer to an answer. my opinion? do it for you first. xo
You of course know that I LOVE your blog. I would be so sad not to get to follow along with you and Levi. But I also completely understand and can relate to all that you’re saying. I constantly wonder if I should stop–not even so much because of lack of readership but because I worry about how blogging makes me compare myself to others (and feel like I’m falling short). It’s ridiculous! I am going to try to read fewer, but then again i don’t want to be out of the conversation. I do find I get fewer comments than I used to and I have heard others say the same: I wonder if the number of blogs being “consumed” on smartphones etc makes it less enticing to comment. Also, I do think moms are a tough demographic for comments–I’m soften reading blogs one-handed myself!
I agree with Courtney that you should slow down if it’s a chore, but I wouldn’t give it up just yet! You have a wonderful voice!
PJ don’t be disheartened! I’m always reading, even if I don’t have the time/energy to comment these days with the baby. I love reading what you have to say and seeing pictures of your adorable little man. Please keep at it!
I can understand your frustration. I read a lot of blogs, but sometimes don’t comment, not because I don’t want to, but because I don’t really have anything to contribute. Your writing is so nice – it’s honest, real, and as a family member, keeps me in the loop of what’s going on with my awesome nephew and with you and JB. But if you aren’t enjoying it, you can take a break. No one says you need to post everyday or even every other day. Just write when you are inspired. Or post shorter entrees. Don’t make yourself crazy. Just do what makes you happy!
I’ve been waiting for a day to think up the right thing to say! The other commenters have left such wisdom, that I’m just going to send you a virtual hug. There’s still time! But if you fall out of love, it’s OK. The most important thing now is to enjoy your time with Levi – he’ll be off to school before you know it! Write when you’re inspired if it’s feeling like too much. You’ll be so happy to have a journal of this journey. Plus, I love reading 🙂
xx
We all have our struggles, looking for our place. That you are asking yourself the tough questions about the value/viability of “blogging for business,” that is where to start. In reading some of the other bloggers’ posts you linked to, I have to agree with some of their thoughts. I think blogging is going to have to change. Dare I say that it’s perhaps on its way out? I don’t know what that next “thing” is, but it’s something more than just a blog that features DIY, recipes, fancy photos, momma mondays, picks o’ the week, and lots and lots of banner ads for lots of crap that we just don’t need and honestly, don’t really want. I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to say that most of the “mega” blogs are just porn for internet-savvy women who have a few minutes of free time on their hands (that, um, would include me). You get to read about foods you’ll never cook, cakes you’ll never bake, really uncomfortable spiky shoes and tight green jeans you’ll never buy, and cocktails you’ll never make. But for a brief moment, we can fantasize about it all. 🙂 And said blogger makes money because I clicked on something, apparently. That said, its all hollow — it’s true that somewhere along the way, the “soul,” the intention of blogging got lost. Maybe that’s okay, I don’t know.
The truth is, in my opinion, is that the blogs that have heart, lend meaning to my life, the ones that are somehow personally related to some experience I’m going through … well, I suspect they don’t make money. These are bloggers who “do something else” outside of blogging, and blogging is a way to vent, share, and engage on an entirely personal level, rather than monetary level. (And, they do indeed have lots of commenters and followers.)
The blogs that make money … they are trifles. (I’m making a blanket statement, I know. But let’s go with it.) And people are willing to pay for trifles; that’s what it’s all about, really. All the banner ads sell you trifles. The content of these blogs are interesting, maybe even fascinating sometimes, but only in the most fleeting way. It’s all about escape (I return to my phrase of porn for internet-savvy women!), finding something funny, finding something pretty, finding something that will make my small house look bigger, finding something that will make a big butt look smaller …
I will say, though, that is okay. Heck yeah, it’d be fun (and yes, I know it can also be a lot of work) to have a blog that puts out lots of content that tickles the senses of a good readership. And maybe that has to be what you decide. Is your blog about Levi, about being his mother, addressing the challenges and joys of parenthood, and engaging other mothers? Is your blog a personal document, a memoir of sorts for Levi to have when he grows up, and to share photos with family? If you are wanting this to be a blog that generates income, I suspect you’ll have to lose a little of the soul and add more of the trifles. And, that is just fine. (And, that’s just my opinion, of course.)
You are a darling writer and you have the energy/curiosity of a young mother as well as the writing background you need to be successful. I think it means a lot to those of us who follow your and Levi’s story to be privy to this struggle. You will figure it out, and it will be good.
I certainly appreciate the blog that you write. As a working (Jewish) mom of an infant boy myself, you often write about concerns I have or questions I am thinking about. While I can certainly understand wanting to make money from something that you spend so much time doing (if ONLY I could get paid to shop!), I’m not sure that it would feel as personal if it was a “mega blog”. But maybe I’m wrong because I don’t subscribe to those kind of blogs… I wish I had the patience and courage to write down my feelings to be shared. And I’m sorry I didn’t post, but as I go into planning a first birthday party (also totally overwhelmed), I appreciated all of your posts on that process and the results which looked incredibly fun!
I totally understand how you feel and really appreciate the honesty of your post. It is so disappointing when we put some much time and thought into a post, and we receive no comments in return. It can also be frustrating when, for no explainable reason, our page views are high one day and pathetic the next. I personally get through it by remembering to appreciate the readers that I do have, and I also try to remember why I started blogging in the first place. If I blog for myself and for fun, it takes the pressure off in a big way. Still…my ultimate goal is to be one of the big ones too.
I understand your feelings completely. I shuttered my successful blog because it didn’t make me happy. I have less readership with my new blog but am so much happier with it. I have never had aspirations to be a professional blogger, mainly because I guess I feel like I wouldn’t be good enough, but I do love to get to know new people from around the globe and to me that makes it all worth it. Hang in, writing honestly like this post is a great start;)
I can totally relate to this post as it is exactly where I’m at with my blog right now. I’d love to know how you moved past this point, and what steps you took? Thanks so much.
Sarah x