On having everything under control

I know what you’re thinking.

“PJ kicked off the week with an awesome post about Asa’s birth announcements and then gave us nothing for days. What happened?”

Or maybe, “PJ’s going to be talking about Growing a Small Blog at Alt Summit next week? Doesn’t she realize that the first step in increasing readership is to regularly post new content?”

Oh, wait. Those are the thoughts running through my head.

Can I be honest? This week was shitty. Life is really chaotic at the moment. So many things demand my attention, but sleep deprivation, fear, and worry make it hard to focus on any of them.

My plan was to share Asa’s (belated) three month old letter this week, as well as fashion and home decor posts, but every time I sat at my computer to write…nothing. A blank screen. I couldn’t find the words I wanted to say.

Fuck you, writer’s block.

So I tried redirecting my energy toward other projects, including my Alt Summit presentation and a big blog redesign that’s been in the works for months and is THIS close to being finished. But it’s hard to redirect energy you don’t actually have, and making decisions when your mind is murky is nearly impossible.

Even relatively easy decisions like what to wear in Salt Lake City next week have proven to be a challenge. At JB’s suggestion I tried shopping for some new clothes for Alt, but I found myself mostly wandering aimlessly through my favorite stores, unsure of what I was even looking for.

Side note: If anybody has any suggestions on what to wear when the dress code says, “Colorful Awesome (a tropical flair doesn’t hurt either),” please pass them my way. Also, do I dress for the summer heat outside or the air conditioned conference rooms inside the hotel? Gah!

I wish I could say that this weekend will be relaxing — after all, my mom will be here to help out with the boys — but there are just too many items still left on my to-do list. Time-sensitive items that require my attention. Now.

I’d like to think that the chaos will calm down after everything on my list has been checked off, but that’s not how life works. There’s always something waiting around the bend. And to-do lists are never really complete, are they?

if you have everything under control
you’re not moving fast enough
– mario andretti

Fingers crossed for a productive weekend.

(image via Caravan Shoppe)