JB and I have been saying for a long time that we’d like to have a weekly date night. Actually, it’s more than just a want of ours — it’s a need. We need time to reconnect after a busy week of working and taking care of Levi. Time to focus on our marriage instead of on our child. Time to talk about anything other than poopy diapers and teething and toddler temper tantrums.
Sure, JB and I hang out in the evenings after Levi goes to bed, but decompressing on the couch while watching TV is not exactly spending quality time together — even if we are cuddling. I miss getting dressed up and putting on makeup to eat at interesting restaurants. I miss going to the movies, something we used to do at least once or twice a month. I even miss walking around the mall holding hands, which is hard to do while pushing a stroller.
Friends in Omaha told us that they do something every Tuesday night. (Have fun tonight!) And Ashley just wrote about doing date night every Friday. Tuesday, Friday…I’d be happy going out on either of those nights. The only thing stopping us is that we don’t have a babysitter, and I’m not sure where to find one.
We know a couple of girls we can use for the occasional night out, all previously recommended to us, but none of them are available on a regular basis. There aren’t any teenagers in our neighborhood, our friends haven’t been able to refer us to anybody, and I’m wary about using a website like Care.com. Any babysitter would have an easy time watching Levi — he goes to bed at 7pm — but I am beyond paranoid about trusting a stranger to care for Levi (especially after what happened in New York City a couple of weeks ago).
Do you have a weekly date night? How did you find a babysitter?
{image from our engagement photo shoot with the amazing Heather Waraksa}
We’re in the same boat. I miss date night.
Before Harper when we just had Griffin we did once a month date night. That worked for us. It was easier to plan something fun once a month and great to have something to look forward to.
Unfortunately, Harper doesn’t like anyone so we’re really struggling with the babysitter situation. 🙁
I would be happy with a once-a-month date night, too. Even that would be more than what we are currently doing!
Levi has always been comfortable about people, but lately he’s been acting more nervous. I think it may separation or stranger anxiety. Even with friends of ours who he knows, he freaks out a bit when they get near. It’s very frustrating (and heartbreaking) for us.
We actually used Care.com to find our babysitters, if that’s any help. Most are newly graduated and in town for some post-grad study aspiration. None are permanent care-givers or parents themselves, which is probably a plus and minus. I wanted to be sure we found people who could put Hudson down for naps and/or bedtimes and not just for after he was asleep. Maybe try a daytime session first? You have them come and play with Levi for a few hours downstairs while you hang out upstairs? Then he’ll know them when they come over next–and hopefully that next time could be soon after? 🙂 Good luck! It adds up but it’s SO worth it.
I use the Internet for everything else in my life, so I don’t know why it seems so strange to use it to find a babysitter! But it does make me feel better to know that you had success using Care.com. I’m going to spend some time browsing the site, and having potential babysitters come over while I’m in the house is a great idea. I know that have a weekly babysitter will be another expense, but I’m willing to spend date night at Starbucks if it means getting out of the house with JB! Lucky for us, though, babysitters probably charge a bit less in Omaha than they do in California 😉
Another one who used Care.com without issue. Our regular sitter we found through Care.com, and she referred us to a friend we use as backup.
I needed help a few months ago when I got an unexpected project. I did what Ashley describes—had someone come over and stay with Ari while I worked in another room. I was there in case they needed anything, and then I felt pretty comfortable leaving them alone.
Anyway, good luck!
Thanks, Rebecca! It’s reassuring to hear your and Ashley’s success stories with Care.com. I’m definitely going to check it out now.
PS: I think they offer a military discount, or it’s free? Not sure why I know this!
A little bit of a late response but I was reminded that I wanted to comment when I saw today’s post.
We used sittercity to find a sitter in Chicago. I am a nurse so I targeted nursing students and other nurses. Both of our sitters are now nurses and since they work 3 12 hours shifts they have a lot of flexibility.
I was definitely nervous about leaving my little man and he does cry when we leave initially but he always settles down. And I (or if it is for a date night my husband and I) always return rejuvenated and happier.
Good luck on your search!
PS – Sittercity has a military program also. http://bit.ly/a9DjBv
Thanks so much, Kara! I hadn’t heard of Sittercity but will definitely check it out. I love the idea of using nursing students as babysitters. I’d definitely feel more comfortable leaving Levi with somebody who would know what to do in (rare) case of a medical emergency (like choking!).
Have a great weekend!
It’s funny that you should bring this up, it’s been on my mind a lot lately! M is almost 8 months old and I’ve only left her a couple of times, with my mom when she’s in town. She has some separation anxiety and leaving her seems much more aversive than any benefit we’d get from going out. But we have an obligation coming up next month where I will need a sitter, so I found one through word of mouth and finally spoke with her today. We’re going to do a trial run (date night!) first so they can get to know each other. I’m so nervous but hoping that it goes okay! Sorry for the novel 🙂
Don’t apologize, Amy! We’re going through a similar situation — not only has it been hard to even find a babysitter, but Levi has been going through a separation/stranger anxiety phase. I can’t even drop him off at the Fit & Sit room at the gym anymore because he freaks out, which means that I haven’t worked out in weeks! Good luck with your new sitter. I hope the trial evening goes smoothly!
I usually ask friends or other sitters for recommendations – or to get regular help for during the day/nights I put an add in the local university job site listing my requirements and then I interviewed 6 people (plus references and a day time trial than lead into us deciding we liked the person and going out to dinner and a movie that night!). I also have had my sitters take my little one to the park and a class she attends (we live in a big city, so it is walkable) and other mums that I know have said she was great. Our 2 1/2 year old tells us she wants a babysitter to come and play with her (even says which one!). Sometimes I even book a sitter for a few hours earlier on a friday so I can get a mani/pedi before hand or walk my dog alone… I also make sure that they can cook (just the basics) and that they know I expect the house to be straightened up. Good luck! Date nights are important.
I like the idea of placing an ad on a local university job site, or at least reaching out to college students somehow. Thanks for the suggestion, Stephanie! Date nights are definitely important, I agree!