A Girl Named PJ

my one resolution

It’s that time of year again. Time to craft our New Year’s resolutions.

Ugh.

As a new mom, I hardly have time to wash my hair, let alone master an extensive to-do list. And isn’t that what making resolutions basically involves? Creating a massive to-list for the year?

Still, I’d like to begin 2012 with a goal. Just one thing I want to attempt to accomplish within the 365 day time frame. So here it is:

My one resolution is to read an entire book.

The last book I read cover to cover (well, on my iPad) was Tina Fey’s Bossypants. I read it in the middle of the night in the weeks after Levi’s birth while I was nursing him. Now I just need to decide what book I will attempt to start and finish this year. Among my many choices: Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy, The Hunger Games series and Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling.

What is your single resolution? It could be big or small. What’s the one thing you’d really like to accomplish in 2012?

For tips on how to simplify your resolutions, click here.

{my photo}

cheers to 2012!

cheers to 2012

I had a baby last year. Wow. I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one.

A year ago, only my immediate family even knew that I was pregnant. It was not news that JB and I were ready to share with the world yet. I just had my first ultrasound, and we were waiting for the results of our First Trimester Screening.

Although I was excited to be pregnant, I was also scared out of my mind. I worried that since I didn’t feel a connection at 12 weeks with the new little life growing inside of me, I never would. I had just come off a really challenging year and even though I had been thinking about having a baby for a while, I began to doubt that I was ready to become a mother.

So I began writing about these uncomfortable thoughts. I created Bunny & Dolly as a safe place to explore my complex emotions. I chronicled my journey towards motherhood, from denial and fear to acceptance and love. When I was eventually ready to share my news with the world, I connected with an amazing network of pregnant women and new moms. We shared stories, asked questions and dispensed advice. What a relief to know I was not alone!

In 2012 I would love to connect with even more like-minded young moms (yes, even at 31, I still consider myself young!). That’s where I need your help. I don’t get paid to blog. I wish I did because keeping up with it is time consuming, and as a WAHM, I don’t have very much spare time. But I won’t stop writing because that’s what I love to do. And I have some big ideas for the new year: new series, giveaways, a possible redesign.

So, if you enjoy reading Bunny & Dolly, please tell your friends! Subscribe to my RSS feed so that you never miss a post. Become a fan on Facebook for additional updates. Follow me on Twitter. Leave comments. Let’s engage and interact even more this year!

Wishing you love and laughter in 2012!

xx

{no alcohol was consumed by my baby on new year’s eve–though he tried darn hard to grab that glass!}

chanukah play set

The Land of Nod_Hanukah Wooden Play Set

As kids, my sister and I lit teeny birthday candles in mini menorahs to celebrate Chanukah. Levi has a couple of years to go before he’s ready for his own child-sized menorah, but we can start teaching him about the Festival of Lights and its traditions with this wooden play set from The Land of Nod.

Today only, get 15% off all toys with the promo code OHWHATFUN.

tired of being tired

baby-middle-finger

Last week I sat in the nursery glider and I cried. It was early in the morning, and I was crying because I was exhausted. I was exhausted because my baby did not sleep through the night. While I sobbed, JB attempted to entertain Levi in the living room because baby guy refused to go back to sleep after a random 5am feeding. And by refused, I mean that he cried, and when Levi cries, he screams as though he is being tortured. My kid’s got lungs.

The nights that Levi sleeps poorly are probably caused by a lack of daytime naps. Like this past Sunday, for example. We just couldn’t get Levi to sleep during the day. He was basically awake from 9am-2pm, so we eventually stuck him in his car seat and started driving until he conked out. That night he woke up every three hours to be fed. Every. Three. Hours.

I feel like Levi’s poor sleeping habits are my fault. The routines I’ve tried just don’t work consistently. The eat/play/sleep schedule we try to follow often turns into eat/sleep/play. (Or eat/play/eat with no sleep in between.) Maybe I should have begun sleep training him sooner. Maybe I should have put him on a rigid by-the-clock schedule. Maybe I should have already tried to ferberize my baby.

New moms are judged by how long their baby sleeps at night. After wanting to know his age, it’s the first thing that most family, friends and strangers ask. At a party hosted by mother-in-law over Thanksgiving weekend, people who had never met Levi we’re more interested in how many hours he sleeps at night than whether he’s a happy baby or anything else about him. (He is actually a very happy baby…when he isn’t tired and cranky.)

Since I can’t get Levi to sleep well day or night, I feel like a failure. I know I’ve written on the topic of sleep before, but it’s been a constant thorn in my confidence as a new mom. So I’m re-reading “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby” hoping the second time around will teach me something I didn’t previously learn.

I’m just so tired of being tired. And I’m sure Levi is, too.

{iPhone photo taken when Levi was 9 weeks old}

a baby portrait session

alyson sword photography

When Levi was born, JB’s squadron gifted us a free portrait session with Alyson Sword, a fellow milspouse with her own photography business. Since we had already taken newborn photos with Kameron Bayne Images, and have another session scheduled for Levi’s sixth month birthday, JB and I decided to take advantage of Alyson’s offer this past weekend. (Ideally, I would’ve liked to have taken them when Levi was three-months-old, halfway between his two Kameron Bayne sessions, but somebody just had to be away on a deployment in October…)

Of all the teaser shots Alyson posted on her Facebook page, this one of Levi and his sweet little smile is my fave. Look at his little dimple!

alyson sword photography 2

However, the best part of the session for me was being able to be photographed with my baby guy. As the designated photographer in our family, I have taken thousands of portraits of Levi and several hundred of him with various family members, including JB. But I bet I could count the number of shots of just the two of us on one hand. My darling husband tries his best to document Levi with his momma–usually only after I ask him to take our picture and then set up the DSLR for him (I shoot in manual, and JB refuses to take the “easy way out” by switching to an automatic mode). He’s getting better at taking spontaneous pics of us with his iPhone, but I’m the one with 2,000+ photos in my camera roll!

For all you photographer moms… How do you get yourself in the picture? Do you ever feel frustrated always being behind the lens?

{images by alyson sword photography)

l-e-v-i

tie-dye-monogram-ornaments

As I flipped through the latest Anthropologie catalog, these tie-dye monogram ornaments caught my eye. I’d love to spell out Levi’s name with them. It’s a good thing there are only four letters in l-e-v-i, though; these chic and cheerful felt ornaments cost $8 a pop.

Since we don’t celebrate Christmas, I can’t hang them on a tree, but I’m sure I could find a place to display them in his nursery. If I were super crafty (and had any spare time) I might even turn them into a mobile, but I’m not much of a DIYer. I’m creative, not crafty!

{image via anthropologie}

is it my fault that my baby doesn’t sleep?

When I was pregnant, I went out of my way to avoid the comparison game that many expectant mothers play. For example, I stood backwards on the scale at my doctor’s office so that I wouldn’t see how much weight I gained. If I didn’t know the number, I couldn’t boast or complain about it.

So why can’t I stop comparing myself to other moms? Specifically, I’m feeling down on myself because Levi doesn’t sleep through the night yet. He’s still waking up every couple of hours and usually requires a brief feeding to calm down and fall back to sleep. Just last night, he went to bed at 7:45pm and awoke at 12:40am, 3:40am and 5:20am. I put him back down at 5:40am because I was just not ready to start my day before 6am. I am not an early bird.

When I read about other babies his age (or younger!) who stay asleep for 10-12 hours, I can’t help but judge my own parenting abilities. What are those moms doing that I’m not to help their infants snooze? Did they follow advice in a parenting book that I haven’t read? Are they just innately better at following schedules and routines?

Logically, I know that it’s Levi, not me, who directs his own circadian rhythms and that he will reach this milestone on his own time. Still, I feel somewhat like a failure because I can’t get him to stay asleep from 7pm to 7am, and I know there are 8-week-olds out there who sleep in 8 hour chunks. Of course, these irrational thoughts of mine are probably being exacerbated by the fact that I’m sleep deprived from repeatedly waking up with him.

(I would ask JB to get up and check on Levi in the middle of the night if he wasn’t, you know, deployed and all.)

Rather than asking how many hours at a time your baby sleeps, I want to know if you ever find yourself judging your own parenting abilities. What do you do when you start comparing yourself to other moms?

(image via {johnson journal})

 

chevron baby blanket

My grandfather liked to say that paisley was his favorite color. Well, chevron is my paisley. I’m partial to anything with that zig-zag pattern, especially blankets. When my grandparents were moving out of their house, I snagged this vintage chocolate, tan and cream chevron throw hand knit by my grandmother. If we’re being honest here, it’s not the softest blanket, but it keeps me cozy when my office gets chilly. Plus, I’m a sucker for anything sentimental.… READ MORE!

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