Hold your congratulations. This is not the big gender reveal! However, it is related to the post I wrote the day of my ultrasound about dealing with gender disappointment when I was pregnant with Levi.
While promoting the post on Twitter that afternoon, I shared my assumption that most women (myself included) secretly wish for girls — or at least the ones who have a gender preference. To my surprise, several of my female followers replied that they had hoped/were hoping for boys!
One of the bloggers who responded to my tweet offered to expatiate on her reasons for wanting a boy–or two. (Per her request, I’m keeping her identity anonymous.) I have to say, she gave me a lot to think about; there’s definitely truth in her assessment of girls.
I’m not pregnant and I don’t have plans to become pregnant in the near future. But someday, if I’m so lucky, I would love to have a boy.
Now, I must mention that I come from a family of three girls. I had a wonderful childhood climbing trees, riding my bike, playing softball, swimming, and briefly, playing with Barbies. I am neither a tomboy (not athletic enough) nor a girly girl (I have no idea how to do hair). I float in some space between the two. I am the middle sister and the least girly of the three of us. I love my sisters. I love my family. I’m glad it is the way it is.
But still, my (not so) secret wish is to have a boy some day. Preferably two.
Part of this stems from my childhood and part of it comes from my experiences as a teacher. I have been teaching for nearly a decade now. I have been around a lot of wonderful kids. I love being a teacher. I could go on and on about how much I love teaching and why, but that’s another post…
Anyway, with only a handful of exceptions, my favorite students have all been boys. I know teachers aren’t supposed to have favorites, but we often do. These are simply students with whom we connect with on a deeper level. I wouldn’t say that I treated them differently from my other students (I hope not!), I simply enjoyed being around them more. I love the energy boys often have. I love their naughty streaks (which I view as a sign of brilliance).
Having said of that, I have very limited experience with teenage boys. And so, if I really think about this, if I have two boys, it means that some day I will have two teenage boys. I’m not sure how I would handle that. But they say ignorance is bliss, and I’ll cross that bridge if I ever come to it….
Also, girls can be complicated. They can be complicated to teach. They can complicated to parent. (Sorry, Mom!) They often have complicated relationships with others girls. And this starts early. Scary early. Like when they are three. And then it gets worse. This worries me. And part of me wonders if it might be easier to raise sons than daughters? I’m not sure, but I think this plays into my wish to have boys, too.
On a funny side, but related note: I asked my husband this question tonight at dinner and he also said he wanted two boys! And maybe a girl after that, too. But I think we should start with one and see how it goes…
I’d love to know your thoughts on having a boy. Do you secretly hope for one? Or are your fingers crossed for a girl? Let’s get honest here!
(image via J.Crew)
